Three Things I Learned While Starting Over in a New Career With Kids

By Rhonda Coleman Wandel

Read about how Rhonda transitioned into a legal career with young children after teaching for ten years.

Tip #1: Trust yourself, plan for what you can, be prepared to swerve, and have faith that things will come together in the end.

I remember the day I received my acceptance letter to Loyola University Chicago School of Law. I was walking into my Memphis apartment, letter in hand. When I opened it and saw “Congratulations,” I screamed. I was going to law school in Chicago. I was so excited that the hours I had spent in test prep and writing law school applications had paid off. When I decided to change careers, I had been teaching high school English for ten years. While I enjoyed working with my students, I was no longer intellectually challenged, my options for career advancement were limited, and my entire work week was spent pouring into everyone except me. I was unfulfilled, drained, unhappy, and I knew I had to make a change. I was an entrepreneur at heart, starting companies that I managed in the summers throughout my teaching career. One was a children’s boutique, another a tutoring agency. I was enterprising, but pretty soon I realized that I didn’t have the business acumen needed to build a successful company. A law degree would provide me with more options and opportunities, so I decided to go to law school.

I quickly understood that if I was going to move to a new city with a first grader and a third grader by myself, I needed a plan that addressed my key areas of need. With the right resources, I would have the support to get me through three years of law school. First, I wanted to live in a walking neighborhood not too far away from the law school where everything I needed was accessible. My network of family and friends would be over 500 miles away so having enough resources to replace the support that they provided was critical. I picked Lincoln Park Chicago, a bit yuppie and not very diverse, but safe and full of things to do for the kids. Second, I had to be sure my kids were in a school that I could afford where they felt safe and would continue to grow and develop in the ways aligned to my values. After much research and deliberation, I enrolled them at the neighborhood public elementary school. Third, I hired a babysitter to help me with the girls while I was in class or studying. Stephanie was me, when I couldn’t be there. She walked the girls home from school, prepared after school snacks and dinner, and even did their laundry. Stephanie was a life saver, and I am grateful to her.

But remember to be flexible and know that it is ok to swerve or switch gears. A few weeks into the school year, I noticed that my girls were not blossoming at school as they should have been. I couldn’t successfully complete law school if they were not happy, so I started to look for alternatives. God extended me a bit of grace, and I met a woman in line at the neighborhood Marshall’s. I had run in to pick up something for the girls I’m sure. She gazed at my children lovingly as if she had met them before. It’s only now as I reflect that I realize that little black girls in Lincoln Park, Chicago with a black mother was out of the ordinary. This is probably what intrigued her about us. I asked her where her kids went to school. She told me, and I said, “Oh I’ve seen that. It’s near my law school.” I asked her whether they were accepting new students, and she answered “quite possibly.” I love her for that. She could have easily told me that there was a long waiting list, upon which there are people who give donations, and still don’t get their kids in. Which would have been the truth. Her optimism however led me to call the school, meet with the admissions director, submit applications, and get my little birds into one of the best schools in the city where they felt safe, happy, and nurtured by a strong school community. They made lots of friends, many of whom we still have today. Be willing to identity when a shift is needed and seek out the help and guidance you need to make it. The Universe will support you and doors will open up.

Tip #2: Have a realistic idea of what kind of job you’re preparing for long term and focus your efforts so that you are on track to get there in a way that works for you as a non-traditional student/career transferee.

I was a little naïve when I switched from teaching to law. In Memphis, I had a strong professional network that supported my goals. I was confident, secure, and knew I could get a job wherever I wanted to teach. I had job security. I thought that my law career would unfold the same way. After all, I was going to law school in Chicago— a city where the first Black president and First Lady had lived and grown up. I felt like my potential for success was limitless. My plan was to graduate from law school, get a job at a law firm that would allow me to work a normal shift so that I could get home to my kids on time, and live happily ever after. Well, when I got to law school, I learned that a 40 hour week for a new law firm associate was unheard of, and beyond that, landing a job at a law firm was extremely competitive. After your first year of law school, firms gather at a fair, interview candidates, and judge you on your grades, grades, and your grades. If you aren’t in the top 10%, good luck. I had always excelled academically and professionally and felt I was good enough for anything, thanks to my parents and community, but I wasn’t prepared for this. I was a non-traditional student, competing in a game with traditional rules. My inability to compete shook my confidence. I began to think that I wasn’t good enough or smart enough to work in a top law firm. Undoubtedly this lack of confidence began to show up in my communications with others about employment which I’m sure didn’t help my prospects.

But, I didn’t give up. Instead, I swerved and shifted my focus to working in a corporation because even if I did somehow manage to get a job at a law firm I realized that I couldn’t work big law firm hours parenting two young girls on my own anyway. I started asking my peers and mentors about opportunities for new lawyers in corporations, and everyone told me that I had to work at a firm first before moving into a corporation They said that the chances of landing an in-house counsel position at a corporation right out of law school, was—you guessed it—reserved for members of the top 10%. So with no pre-paved track for me to go from law school to a corporation what was I to do? I didn’t learn until my third year in law school that corporations would hire new lawyers in non-lawyer positions, such as contract managers or contract specialists. I could then use that opportunity as a springboard to an attorney position within the company.

To add insult to injury, while I was OK financially in law school with graduate loans, scholarship money and summer employment, I was not the summer after graduation. I had to study for the bar and there was no funding —or spouse—available to float me. Plus, I had the added pressure of trying to keep up with private school tuition, extracurricular activities fees, Christmas presents, and three mouths to feed—it was a very stressful time. Had I had a more targeted, realistic plan before I began law school, I could have prepared for some of these obstacles and avoided the stress. Don’t take for granted that you know what lies ahead. Seek the advice of others who have walked in your shoes.

Tip #3: A happy, balanced parent lends for a happy, balanced child.

Putting your children’s needs first, sometimes requires that you put your needs first. When you fly with kids, the flight attendant reminds you to put your oxygen mask on first and then on your kids in the event of an emergency because as the parent you must be in a position of strength before you can properly attend to the health and well being of your children.

I loved law school. I got to pour information into myself everyday for three years, which allowed me to grow and expand into a better version of myself, and my girls witnessed every minute of it. They saw me study hard and reel with excitement when I passed my exams. When my bar results came back with a pass on the first go, they probably thought I won the lottery when they saw me cry. When you grow into a new and better version of yourself, you feel good and that happiness uncontrollably spills over to others around you. I made decisions for my children from a position of confidence, strength, and self love. As a result of growing up in my “happy” orbit, they grew into strong, confident young women with a good sense of who they are and what they want. They understand the value of expanding, loving yourself, and pursuing a life that is fulfilling and desirable, and they have a tremendous amount of grit that rivals most.

As a working lawyer, the joy continues. I’m always stretching myself and learning new things. I now advise executive team members on the legal aspects of running corporations, but I’ve also developed the skills to run a corporation. It’s very rewarding. Switching to a career in law was the right decision for me. And my children.